Comedian Joe Mande passes on this photo of P. Diddy (that is what he’s calling himself now, yes?) photobombing perhaps the world’s most famous painting, the Mona Lisa, while at the Louvre. And the more we think about it, the more we realize these two have tons in common.

• They are both timeless icons.
• They’ve been known by many different names over the years (La Gioconda, Puffy, respectively).
• Visitors generally spend about 15 seconds viewing the Mona Lisa. People spend about 15 seconds listening to Diddy’s music.
• They both reveal smiles that mean everything and nothing all at once.
• They both have beautiful clavicles.
• They both have mysterious beauty secrets…
• The Mona Lisa can’t dance…

I rest my case.

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When you’re a sheep, squeezing anything out of our lifechute has gotta be a scene. But when you’re a sheep who manages to pop out a 23 lb baby lamb — 3 times the normal size — let’s just say your sheep-v would still be a-stingin.

Thankfully, that hasn’t stopped Sally from being so super psyched to be born!! And given that the World’s Tiniest Man passed away so recently, we thought, why not brighten up your day with another one of God’s oddities, this time one you could easily cuddle with with or without consent. For real… she’s like a body pillow with a face.

And here is a photo of Sally’s dear mum, inspecting the furry meteor she shot out of her lady place:

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And the ladies… oh, they noticed. We’ve put together the following clips reel of guest after guest hitting on Jason, touching Jason, blushing and thinking horrible, perverted things to themselves while also trying to remain borderline professional around Jason, and pretty much WANTING JASON. It was basically an hour of women making asses out of themselves in front of their teen idol… otherwise known as the best Today Show 4th hour in history.*

*It should be known that I myself have seen Jason Priestly in person. What happened at that very moment is my feet turned to boosters and I rocket shipped to the moon. So no judgments on any of these ladies.

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Last night, the latest movie to feature people definitely younger than you, The Runaways, celebrated its premiere in Los Angeles. The occasion was especially poignant because actor Taylor Lautner stopped dreaming about his abs long enough to open his eyes for a photograph with Runaways stars Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning.

Stewart, as you can see, could only manage staying in her gown long enough to pose on the red carpet and snap a quick Myspace profile pic with Joan Jett…

Click ahead for a ton of pics from The Runaways premiere with captions, including more Taylor! Who plans on seeing this? We’re tempted…

Kristen Stewart trying to breaking out her signature awkward tom-boy pose.

That’s more like it K-Stew!

Kristen Stewart’s out of the shower hair.

New Moon & now The Runaways co-stars, Dakota Fanning & Kristen Stewart.

Two regular Smiley Cyrus’…

Clearly there were two D-Cup sized differences in Dakota’s depiction of the real Cherie Currie.

Doppelgangers of the week! Joan Jett, Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning, Cherie Currie.

Who is Stella Maeve and how did she get in this picture?

There’s always one a-hole who has to kneel in the front…

From Left: William William Pohlad (Producer), Floria Sigismondi, Stella Maeve, Michael Shannon, Joan Jett, Stewart, Dakota Fanning, Cherie Currie, Bob Berney (CEO Apparition.)

Michael Shannon, aka the only man in this chick flick.

Floria Sigismondi (Director) & Kristen Stewart (looking thrilled as always.)

Taylor Lautner supported his “Twilight” co-stars. Where’s Edward? Team Jacob 4eva… right? Is that what they say?

Joan Jett’s still got a whole lot of rocker ‘tude.

Joan Jett. Does this look like the face of a 51-year-old?!

Riley Keough takes time off modeling to appear in The Runaways.

Riley Keough & (mother) Lisa Marie Presley. I’m assuming Lisa Marie left the rest of her outfit at home along with her dignity.

Taylor, this is not a Twilight premiere!

Do these fans know where they are?

Kristen Stewart is bombared by Tweens for Twlight.

Kristen Stewart opts out of her dress and heels for jeans and a t-shirt. K stands for Keeping Things Klassy.

(With thanks to new intern Briana Bonome for her help.)

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There have been pleeeennnty of times where I’ve wept simply watching Antiques Roadshow (not to mention the times where I’ve had daydream fantasies about those Keno twins… don’t get me started on the Kenos). But never, in my many sad, hungover Sunday morning years of sitting through city after city of Roadshows, have I witnessed anyone have the following experience of hitting a million dollar jackpot… until today:

Damn. Is right. I will now have permanent goosebumps for the next 3 or 4 months, don’t be alarmed.

Good on this woman for being able to maintain her composure. I would promptly inseminate myself and birth hundreds of little Chippendales dressers if this happened to me. How do you think you guys would react in such a scenario?

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Tatum O’Neil is the latest in a long line of celebrities to get up close and lip-on-lip personal with a close relative — in this case, her father Ryan O’Neil – while on the red carpet for The Runaways. We guess, if they’re doing it knowingly in front of all these cameras, it’s OK?

More photos of these two ahead.

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But why let Beyonce ruin what could possibly be the best female prison product placement commercial of modern times? If you think that opening the video up in a women’s prison with Gaga writhing around behind bars while in the nude in between making out with the other lady inmates seems cutting edge, let the numerous product placements throughout assure you that, no, in fact, it’s just one long lady-loving infomersh. From Virgin Mobile to Diet Coke, from Wonderbread to Polaroid to Miracle Whip (seriously?) (yes.), even Q-Tarantino’s Pussywagon gets an appearance. Thankfully, Queer Eye’s Jai Rodriguez also gets to product place his face as a local newsanchor.

Gaga says the video was inspired by Tarantino, but it ends up feeling like a poor imitation. Love the girl, but between the ads and Beyonce, we fear this “Telephone” video may have been a slight misstep in an otherwise fabulous run.

Language and “adult situations” might not be safe for work, unless you’re a female prison guard, in which case congratulations, this is your time in the sun, soak it up!

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Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher: When this couple first started dating back in 2003, most people in America braced themselves for a collective camera crew to burst forth from behind the bushes… because, as a nation, we felt Punk’d. Ashton was 25 and Demi was 40, making her our national cougar mascot. But 7 years later, we realize this pairing was more than just a fling — they’re now officially husband and wife, and by all accounts, still very much in love. Which just goes to show: When you’re 47, but look 30, guys in their 30s will love having sex with you.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes: Ah, true love. This marriage is one built on passion, trust, mutual respect, and, if rumors are to be believed, a marriage contract. But seriously, of all the girls in Hollywood, Katie Holmes seemed like the unlikeliest bride for mega-famous movie star Tom Cruise. But whatever keeps these two together, we should all take a moment to thank God they got together, for they have given us one of our few reasons to live… Suri Cruise.

Catherine Zeta-Jones & Michael Douglas: Your classic May/December romance. Only in this case, we’re talking about May of 1995 and December of 1921. While many have trouble figuring out what classic beauty Catherine finds attractive about Michael Douglas, the answer seems fair obvious… the guy has a 49 foot long penis. Watch him strut around in Wall Street, and you’ll understand.

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon: We just… we have no idea.

Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman: She, a multi-billion dollar, Grammy winning pop superstar. He, the guy you probably went to middle school with. No, really, we know someone who went to middle school with him. I mean, look at them.

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What did I learn about Lifehouse during this brief and all-too-informal interview? Uh, how about that we’re going to have an amazing time on the cruise together? Mani/pedis for everyone!

If you want to join us on this exciting 4 day adventure to the Grand Cayman Islands, it’s not too late! Book your cabin today by clicking here or calling 877-SIXTHMAN. You really should.

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The fine folks at Mattel have announced that they will be releasing a special Mad Men inspired line of Barbie dolls, including Don and Betty Draper, the silverest of foxes Roger Sterling, and Joan Holloway, who, from the looks of it, received one of Mattel’s trademarked debreastifications.

But the truest of Mad Men fans must wonder… where are the dolls of our most beloved characters? How are we supposed to reenact Sal’s famous bellhop scene without the help of a beefy Salvatore Romano action figure? And what about Pete Campbell? Who’s going to inappropriately touch the rest of our dolls without a smarmy-faced plastic Pete? We need at least 5 more Mad Men dolls to be able to live out our most sordid of Dark-Helmet-like fantasies.

Doll disappointments aside, we obviously adore these dolls. Though isn’t it telling that a KEN DOLL version of Don Draper is somehow still less handsome than the actual living man, Jon Hamm? No flesh-colored plastic crotch nubbin is going to keep this doll away from the bevvy of dolls flinging themselves at his feet. If you see Skipper’s convertible parked outside of the Draper home, don’t act all shocked and sh*t.

‘Mad Men’ Dolls in a Barbie World, but the Cocktails Must Stay Behind — NY Times

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Well, OK. He sucks at golf. It takes him a good 5 tries to get the ball off the tee, all while looking up at his owner with the giant eyes of a small Mexican dog who has seen the face of the Devil. In unrelated news, it’s adorrrrable. The small bag of clubs over his shoulder really sells this one, for us.

This post brought to you by some story from Reader’s Digest, probably.

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I’ll still be there opening night, even though I know how it ends now: Tony Stark replaces Don Cheadle with Gabourey Sidibe.

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• Kathryn Bigelow won Best Director at the Oscars and her film The Hurt Locker took Best Picture. As per the new Academy rules, however, she has to let James Cameron lick both statues.
• Despite lasting over three hours last night, the Oscars had to cut the traditional number of Hitler jokes down to just two.
• Christoph Waltz won a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his role in Inglourious Basterds. If history has its way, he should be starring in the Boat Trip sequel by this time next year.
• At the Vanity Fair Oscar Party last night, Jennifer Aniston was spotted making out with one of the prawns from District 9. She’ll never learn, that one.
• In one of the biggest snubs of the night, Fisher Stevens, producer of the winning documentary The Cove, forgot to thank his Short Circuit costar Johnny 5. It was sooo awkward.
• Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland made $116,000,000 this weekend, making it a shoo-in to lose to The Hurt Locker 2: Locked N’ Loaded next year.

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